Malmo Blood Bowl League

Khorne Krushers

Race:	Chaos Chosen
Coach:	Johanem

Description

Bulletin board from the coach
Nov. 19th, 2024 - NEW !!!
Match 4 - Major Jim: "Well, Bob, the Khorne Krushers just can’t catch a break! A 2-1 loss to the Eternal Arrghs, and it wasn’t pretty. From the first whistle, those vampires were all over them like a bad rash. Blacktusk getting carried off the field? That’s a nightmare start!" Bob: "Oh, Jim, the Krushers looked more like Khushed today. It’s hard enough playing vampires on a good day, but under that blazing sun? You’d think it might slow the bloodsuckers down, but nope. They were at the Krushers’ throats right from the kickoff—literally!" Jim: "And Basilica Hands made them pay for it, Bob. What a sneaky play to steal the ball and run it in for the first touchdown! 1-0 to the vamps at halftime, and the Krushers were already reeling." Bob: "Basilica Hands really lived up to the name. A true pickpocket on the pitch, Jim. But let’s talk about the second half—Eternal Arrghs came out swinging with that quick pass play! Red Legs Greaves to Jean Fleury? That was so smooth, I almost forgot they’re vampires and not elves." Jim: "Yeah, 2-0 in no time! And the Krushers? They were looking like a team that forgot how to play. Completely outclassed! It was all over but the crying at that point." Bob: "And you know what must’ve really displeased Khorne, Jim? Warkine and Crimsonslayer—two of the Krushers’ biggest hitters—did absolutely nothing to the Eternal Arrghs! Not a single injury! Khorne doesn’t care who wins, Jim, as long as there’s blood, and those two left the field clean. A disgrace for the blood god!" Jim: "You’ve got a point there, Bob. It’s not like the Krushers to go soft like that. Khorne’s gotta be fuming, and I wouldn’t want to be in their boots during the next team prayer. Maybe that’s why Blacktusk pushed himself to score late—trying to make up for the lack of carnage." Bob: "Oh, he tried, Jim. But let’s face it, a late touchdown isn’t enough to redeem the lack of broken bones and spilled blood. If the Krushers can’t bring the violence, they’re just another team trying to play catch-up." Jim: "Still, credit to Blacktusk for getting back on the field after that nasty knock earlier. But yeah, 2-1’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when they had such high hopes after that win against the Monster Mash. The Eternal Arrghs just outplayed them in every way." Bob: "Outplayed and outmuscled. That should never happen to a Khorne team. If they want to avoid more of Khorne’s wrath, Warkine and Crimsonslayer better step it up against the Averland Avalanches. Otherwise, their blood might be the next to flow at the altar." Jim: "You think they can bounce back against the Avalanches, Bob?" Bob: "That depends, Jim. If the Krushers want to stand a chance, they need to tighten up their defense and actually use that muscle of theirs. No more fumbling around like ogres at a poetry reading. And maybe, just maybe, Blacktusk can keep his crown and his head in the game." Jim: "Well, the Avalanches won’t be as slippery as the vamps, but they’ve got a reputation for hitting hard and playing smart. The Khorne Krushers better be ready for a brawl!" Bob: "Let’s hope they bring more than brute force next time. Otherwise, the Avalanches might just bury them alive. Blood for the blood god, Jim!" Jim: "And touchdowns for the scoreboard, Bob. Let’s see if the Krushers can turn things around!"
- Johanem


Nov. 4th, 2024
Match 3 - Major Bob: "Well, Jim, what a match! The Khorne Krushers managed a 1-0 win over the Monster Mash, but it was anything but straightforward! The real highlight? They hired the chaos ogre Khrach Jawbreaker… who spent most of the match drooling on the pitch like he was waiting for someone to throw him a snack!" Jim: "Oh yes, Bob, quite the addition to the team! If there’s one thing you want in a chaos ogre, it’s a bit of…awareness. Khrach seemed to miss that memo. I’ve seen statues that were more involved in a match. But hey, he looked intimidating enough just standing there." Bob: "Yeah, intimidating—if you’re a patch of grass! Meanwhile, the Monster Mash pulled in the big guns with Wilhelm Chaney! I’ll say, Jim, the Wolfman was ferocious out there. You know, it’s hard to believe he started out as a social outcast. Bitten by a werewolf, cast out as a kid… and now? Well, he’s a legend." Jim: "That’s right, Bob. Chaney might have had a rough start, but he’s come a long way. Now, if you like werewolves, Wilhelm Chaney is everything they are—and then some. He hits harder, mauls more viciously, and has a nose for the ball that’s second to none. Let’s just say, when Chaney’s on the field, every play is a game of fetch, and he's a very good boy." Bob: "Oh, he was all over the place! But that first half was a real grind, Jim. The ball kept changing sides more than I could keep track of, and both teams took their share of bruises. By the time the whistle blew, it was still 0-0, but the Monster Mash had a knockout pile stacked high enough to build a wall!" Jim: "Indeed, Bob! Half their team looked like they were enjoying an extended nap. And when it was time to wake up, not one of them was interested. Classic necromantic horror team—you’d think they’d be better at getting back up. Meanwhile, the Krushers stayed on their feet long enough to grind out that winning touchdown in the second half." Bob: "Yeah, they pretty much had a free run with all those sleepy skeletons. But it wasn’t all smooth sailing. Poor Doomgorge took a nasty hit and ended up with a dislocated shoulder. Now, Jim, knowing the Khorne Krushers, they’re not exactly the type to send him to a healer…" Jim: "Oh no, Bob. Doomgorge’s next stop is probably the altar. One dislocated shoulder, and he’s no good to Khorne. Might as well put his blood to use before it goes to waste!" Bob: "Oof! Tough crowd, these Krushers. But hey, a win is a win, even if half the other team was snoozing. The Monster Mash got mashed, and the Krushers finally found the scoreboard." Jim: "They did indeed. Let’s hope they don’t get too comfortable though, Bob. If they keep hiring ogres like Khrach, they might end up doing more drooling than scoring." Bob: "Yeah, let’s hope Khrach Jawbreaker wakes up for the next one! But for now, 1-0 to the Khorne Krushers! Blood for the blood god!" Jim: "And maybe some smelling salts for Khrach while we’re at it."
- Johanem


Oct. 18th, 2024
Match 2 - Major Jim: "Bob, I don't know what to say about that match. The Khorne Krushers were all over the place! Those Tekila Titans hopped around them like frogs in a pond! 1-0? What happened out there?" Bob: "What happened, Jim? The Krushers got leapt out of the stadium, that’s what. The Tekila Titans put on a show—dodging, leaping, bouncing. The Krushers spent most of the match looking like they were chasing shadows. And, to make matters worse, their coach didn’t even stick around for the full embarrassment. He was out of there faster than a troll in a pie-eating contest!" Jim: "Yeah, I saw that! He stormed off before the final whistle, didn’t even wait for the judge to end the game! I don’t blame him though, those frogs were leaping circles around his team. I’ve never seen the Krushers look so confused." Bob: "Confused? They looked downright inept, Jim. It was like trying to hit water in a lake—they couldn't land a single tackle for the first half! The only thing keeping them from total embarrassment was Crimsonslayer and his blockers. At least they managed to put a couple of those leaping lunatics on stretchers by the end of the first drive." Jim: "You’ve got that right, Bob. Crimsonslayer's always reliable when it comes to making casualties. But even then, the Titans were too quick. Those frogs hopped back up like nothing had happened and kept dancing around the Krushers." Bob: "Oh, the Tekila Titans weren’t just dancing, Jim. They were toying with the Krushers. I haven't seen that much chaos since...well, since the Krushers were the ones dishing it out. But this time, they were on the receiving end of a circus." Jim: "It was hard to watch! Blacktusk didn’t even get a chance to shine today, Bob. After his big performance last match, he was just another confused player, getting outrun by a bunch of frogs! You think the crown’s getting too heavy for him?" Bob: "Heh, maybe that crown of his is weighing him down. Or maybe, Jim, it’s just that speed and agility are the Krushers' kryptonite. They can handle brute strength, but ask them to keep up with a team like the Tekila Titans? They’re out of their league." Jim: "1-0 is a tough loss, Bob. Especially since it could’ve been worse if Crimsonslayer and his boys hadn’t started bashing heads. But you know what hurts the most? That coach walking out before the end. What does that say about the Krushers’ morale?" Bob: "Morale? Jim, that says their coach would rather be anywhere else than watching his team get trounced by a bunch of frogs. Can’t say I blame him. This is Blood Bowl, and if your team’s not spilling blood, what’s the point?" Jim: "Well, they did spill some by the end, Bob. It wasn’t a complete disaster. But man, the Khorne Krushers have a lot of work to do if they want to get back on track. Losing 1-0 to the Tekila Titans? That's not the way to show you’re a contender." Bob: "Nope. But maybe this is the wake-up call they needed. If they don’t figure out how to deal with agility teams like the Titans, they’re in for a long season. The next match better be more than just Blacktusk looking confused and Crimsonslayer cleaning up the mess." Jim: "Yeah, they need to shake off this loss fast. The season’s just starting, and there’s still plenty of time to turn things around. Here’s hoping their coach sticks around for the whole game next time." Bob: "Heh, we’ll see, Jim. But after that performance, I wouldn’t bet on it."
- Johanem


Oct. 1st, 2024 - old news
Match 1 - Major Jim: "Bob, what a match! The Khorne Krushers might not have gotten the win, but a 2-2 draw against those High Ground Hitters is still something to celebrate!" Bob: "Well, Jim, let’s just say it was a little more civilized than what I expected from the Krushers. Normally, they’re leaving the field in a pool of blood, but I guess even Khorne’s chosen can’t crush everything in their path. Though I gotta admit, King Blacktusk—sorry, Two Heads—was in fine form." Jim: "Oh yeah! Both goals from Blacktusk! Two heads, two goals! That crown of his must’ve really brought him some luck, huh?" Bob: "Luck or ego, Jim. But hey, you can’t argue with the scoreboard. Blacktusk might be wearing that ridiculous crown, but he’s got the talent to back it up—well, at least when both heads agree on which way to run." Jim: "Heh, yeah, did you see him argue with himself at midfield? Almost tackled his own legs out from under him! But when he got going, those High Elves didn’t stand a chance." Bob: "I’ll give him credit, Jim. The High Ground Hitters may have all that grace and speed, but Blacktusk brought the muscle. It’s not every day you see an elf get flattened like a pancake and still get up to score. They kept the game tighter than I thought." Jim: "Tight? I thought the Krushers would, well, crush them! But those elves were dancing around the pitch like they didn’t even care about the hits. It’s amazing it only ended 2-2. You think Crimsonslayer and his blockers should’ve done more to stop them?" Bob: "Oh, they did plenty of stopping, Jim. Trouble is, those High Elves know how to slip through the smallest gaps. For every bone-crunching hit the Krushers dished out, the Hitters had another trick up their sleeve. But hey, it was Blacktusk’s day. Two goals from a Khorne team is practically a miracle." Jim: "Yeah, and let’s not forget that final scramble! If it wasn’t for that last-minute interception by one of the Hitters, Blacktusk could’ve had his hat trick! And then…who knows, maybe they’d have walked off with the win." Bob: "Could’ve, would’ve, Jim. In the end, it’s 2-2. And considering how much finesse those elves bring, I’d say the Khorne Krushers are off to a solid start. But I think they’re gonna need more than just Blacktusk to keep this momentum going." Jim: "Yeah, yeah, I get it. But I’ll tell you this, Bob, when Blacktusk is on form, there’s no stopping the Krushers. I wouldn’t want to be in the Hitters’ boots right now!" Bob: "I don’t think anyone does, Jim. Except maybe the elves—they’re light on their feet, and somehow, they always seem to escape the worst of it. But next time, the Krushers will need more than brute force to win." Jim: "Still, 2-2 ain’t bad for their first game. Khorne’s got some blood, and Blacktusk’s got his crown. The season’s just getting started!" Bob: "We’ll see if that crown stays on his head by the end of the season, Jim. For now, it’s onward to the next bloodbath—er, I mean match."
- Johanem

See older bulletins

Tournaments played:

Season Zero, Season One, Season Two, Season Three, Season Six

Playing in:

Season Seven

Trophies won:

Luckstone Award:

Season Six

Notes
CIRCLET OF HOETH Season Seven
The Loremasters sponsors the winning team with the Circlet of Hoeth for one season, a magical and powerful headgear to wear instead of a helmet. It grants one selected player in the winning team both +1 for Passing and +1 for Agility, but -1 to the Armour and Movement Value. The Circle of Hoeth can change owner for each match and will be returned at the end of the season.